So how does one let go of ego completely, which can be very persistent in our daily life. It seems impossible. Even though I try to let go, it keeps crawling back up inside of me. Where did this ego come from?

To let go of this ego, I need to go really deep down inside to find out what is the main theme of my life, which is causing this ego.

Fear of not being loved was one of my theme.

This fear started while I was growing up or who knows, may be even before I was born.

This fear was associated with morsel/life, because if you are not loved, ignored, or unnoticed as a baby, it can lead to death.

My parents were getting divorced while I was in Mom’s stomach.

You can imagine the rest.

It seemed as I struggled to be noticed all my life, which lead me to think I have to strive more then others. This also made me become lone wolf.

It was very painful to see the fact, that this fear separated me from everyone in true sense.

When your parents denies your existence at early age, you tend to have this victim conscious.. in my case, I didn’t even realize this emotion was heavy weight for me. I even felt how I went through this emotionally rough childhood was some kind of token. What I didn’t realize was by victimizing myself, (which is a huge negative emotion), I was not able to move forward from it.

I could have thanked my parents for giving me this life instead and moved on. Especially for my Mom, who could have abandoned us, but raised us as a Single Mom.

My excuse was I was a child, and didn’t know any better with what to do with my emotions.

Well, I am old enough now to be able to appreciate and see things from Different angle. Also I can feel other people’s pain in similar situation. Believe me, there are many of us, who got hurt growing up.

Everyone on this planet will make a mistakes and bad choices (and by the way, I believe we, ourselves manifest the situations) and because of it, we are able to learn and grow.

As I dig deeper into myself, I know I will become closer to the realization, and find the way out of illusions of separation …and hopefully one day, we can merge into Oneness…

I wanted write this, because how easy it is to victimize yourself without knowing that you are doing it. I held it and carried around for decades… when I could have put the burden down instantly. It was a drag.

From Biomagnetism and bioenergetics point of view, these heaviness can lead to illness… we need to be light… with healthy vibration : )

And more then a year from this blog, now I find myself that we don’t even need to let go of ego.

We are here to experience life and ego makes one’s character (personality) in this life. Also, we can change this anytime as we wish. It’s only matter of one’s choice. Who do we want to be? What do we want to experience?